Men were designed, created, and commanded to bear responsibility.

The fun becomes irresponsible when it occupies a man’s thinking, his time, or his money beyond what can or ought to be afforded.

Authority without responsibility makes men tyrants.

The husband/father is primarily responsible. We see this order in the law very clearly in Numbers 30. A husband or father is responsible for the vows made by his wife or daughter. If he cancels the vow, she is free from keeping it. If he does not cancel the vow, then the husband, by silence, confirms it. If the woman does not keep the vow, her husband is guilty. The New Testament assigns responsibility to the father/husband in Ephesians 5:25–30, 6:4, 1 Peter 3:7, and Colossians 3:19–21.

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord. (Psalm 128:1–4)

What are the characteristics of the responsible man? He receives orders and commands without complaining or arguing (Phil. 2:14). He stretches and grows into a job he has to do. It does not break him. He is not defensive when he is accused, whether the accusation is true or false. He does not pass the buck; he does not blame others above, alongside, or below him. He is not short-tempered. He assumes the burden of supporting his family. Whether by work or by faith, the burden is his. “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8). He teaches his children to be responsible. He provides a secure environment for his wife and children. He will not scold his wife. He certainly will not beat her. He will nourish and cherish her. He will nourish and admonish his children. He protects his family from all kinds of evil: physical, spiritual, and emotional. He is not selfish with his money, things, or time. He is a man of prayer. “I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing” (1 Tim. 2:8). He is a servant to others. He is self-controlled. In Titus 2, Titus is instructed to teach the older men “to be temperate, worthy of respect and self-controlled…Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.” “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:11–14).

God requires men to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. There is an obvious reason for this in creation. God made women with a great need to be loved, to be protected, and to be made secure. God made men with a need to be respected. Both were made incomplete. Man was made incomplete first, so woman was made to complete him. He in turn was to complete the need that was created in her.

How to Become a Responsible Man Become a Christian. If you need help with this, ask a Christian friend or write, call, or email Community Christian Ministries. You can also request a copy of the gospel of John and the booklet Jesus Said, “Follow Me” from us.1 If you are already a Christian, confess all known sin to God.2 Repair your relationship with your parents (Mal. 4:6).3 Desire responsibility. “Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task” (1 Tim. 3:1). Humble yourself before God. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6). Follow the example of godly men. Read the biographies of godly men such as Hudson Taylor, George Mueller, James Fraser, R.G. LeTourneau, George Whitfield, and R.C. Chapman. “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Tim. 2:22). Be a man of the Word: reading, studying and memorizing it, meditating on it, obeying it. Be a man of prayer: praise, thanksgiving, supplication, intercession. Recognize that irresponsibility is a sin, gross wickedness. Confess this wickedness; repent of it, forsake it. When you read the Scriptures, latch onto the assignments, not just the authority.

Before they get to have authority, men should be under authority. If they have a difficult the submitting to authority, they become petty tyrants when they, in turn, find themselves in positions of authority. Authority and responsibility go together. If a man has great responsibility but does not have commensurate authority, he is unable to carry out his responsibility. If he has authority but no responsibility, he ends up giving orders when there is nothing to do. Again, he is a petty tyrant.

If we want our sons to mature into responsible men, our part is five-fold: Give them much love and respect from both sexes of parents. Do not provoke them to wrath or discouragement (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21). Give them the “training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Give them responsibility as they grow older. The responsibility should be enough to stretch them, but not so much that it breaks them. “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth” (Deut. 11:18–21).

(Sometimes boys will demand freedom when they are not ready for it. The results are the same if it is given.)

Correcting successes with a critical spirit causes discouragement (Col. 3:21).

Results of Responsibility Besides the wonderful security of having the seal of the Holy Spirit in our lives, there is a security that comes from good relationships in our homes. The major source of security in the home outside the Holy Spirit has been assigned by God to the husband/father. He is the one around whom the home revolves. The wife looks to him, and the children look to him. He is the rock in the home. He is the source of strength and stability. He provides wisdom, decisions, and financial and emotional security.

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